My heart hurts. I honestly feel miserable.
This blog post really isn’t for anyone else. I’ve written it because I think its something I need to document for years to come, to prove to myself how strong I am. Shit things happen in life and people can be so cruel. I guess what I’ve learnt from some of my situations in life is that you don’t know people. Even if you think you know someone inside and out, you don’t. You could be with someone for 10 fucking years and still they could turn out to completely different. You won’t fully know someone’s intentions or understand how their brain works, no matter how hard you try.
Someone may absolutely love something you hate, but because they don’t think the same as you – they don’t act the same way you would. They don’t have the same emotions or intentions as you do. And that’s okay.
Humans are all different and I think that’s what keeps life interesting. It can hurt thinking one way of yourself in someone’s life and then turning out to mean something completely different. Thinking you mean so much to someone but feeling completely worthless in the end. But it’s a lesson that we need to learn: we don’t know everything. We will never know everything. The stuff we do know is so small in comparison to all we don’t know. And that’s a beautiful, scary thing.
I’ve had my heart broken a few times, not in just ‘romantic’ ways.. By friends, boyfriends, a parent etc; each time hurt a little differently. But somehow I found some (hypothetical) sticky tape and put my little pieces back together again. Learning each time how to handle certain situations a little bit better. I’m not pro, in fact I’m not even close.. I just know how much it stings to see someone you love, love someone else. It fucking hurts.
But I will come out of this so much stronger. I will learn so much in my life & this is just one of those dumb life lessons that we all have to go through at some point. It sucks. It is painful & scary. But without dumb shit like this, we wouldn’t grow as individuals. Hard times truly do show you who you are and what you’re made of.
Whatever is happening, whatever anyone else is doing; it doesn’t change who YOU are. You mean something to this world. Someone will look at you one day and see everything they’ve always been searching for. YOU! You will be that piece to the puzzle and everything will click, all at once. That ‘AH HA!’ moment will be so worth all the tears, heartbreak and misery. You’ll be exactly where you need to be, loving exactly who you need to love.
Until then… I have so much life to live. So many people to meet & love. SO much to do. So much to see. SO many countries to visit, so many planes to fly on. AHHHHHHHH! I’m in the process of planning my Contiki for sometime at the start of next year over my 2 week holiday. Also Hawaii & LA in January. AND Bali in June.
What is my life? Its fucking magical. I’m going to try and get rid of my miserable, sad pants and put on my ‘excited to live’ ones. There is so much life to live left in this wonderful life of mine. (future britney please read over this when you are sad!)
Please hang in there. Nothing will ever be given to you if you can’t handle it. And it will all make sense one day. Smile that beautiful smile!
“The person who broke you, can’t be the one to fix you. Remember that”
Britney rose x