I have spent a full 7 days in Sydney, so far.

It feels like I’ve been here 2 seconds but some other times, it feels like years.

I feel so lost but also so found at the same time. Its like a mixture of ‘what the fuck’ and ‘why didn’t i do this sooner’. In some ways I’m scared about what I’ve done, doubting myself that I should have a career, relationship, house etc.. basic shit & truly, I don’t have a single one of those things sorted.. But in other ways, I feel so blessed and excited that this is my life. I don’t have any strings attached. In Sydney, I have my job & home in one. I have a car here and a lot of lovely people around me. AND I have my family back home who do everything they can to help me through this somewhat difficult time.

I feel so blessed.

So here goes… to recap my first week & all of its glory.

I arrived in Sydney after an interesting plane ride that involved a whole rugby team of 15 & 16 year old boys who remembered my exact seat number (10F) and decided to chat with me through the screens on the plane… I didn’t even know this was a thing but I sure do now. That was an interesting 3 and a half hours that I truly won’t ever get back. I had a curry on the plane, which burnt twice. Pleasant. I taxied to my new home, arrived to an empty house and had probably one of the worst panic attacks of my life. But it ended quickly when I realised my family weren’t rapists, murderers or anything of that kind. Lovely. My first meal in Sydney was at a steak house and I had Salmon. Classic Brits. My first night in Sydney I drove a Range Rover. Died inside… Couldn’t believe this is the life I get to experience. Felt a little shit, went to sleep.

The next day we chilled out, got to know each other. I drove the Range Rover again. Love! The next few days were a bit of a blur because I was too caught up in peoples shit back in Taranaki to just enjoy what I was doing. I only use my phone now to chat with my friends and family & update my blogs, insta or Facebook with photos… If i don’t like your stuff, its nothing against you.. Its just that I don’t want to sit and dwell on the fact that I’m so homesick & that I’m not there.. But I’m here on my very own adventure and I think that is a pretty cool thing.

Tuesday, this week. We went to a reptile zoo. I drove the Range Rover (honestly a dream that i get to live everyday) an hour and a half away to this zoo. Through the city & down highways. ( to think I was scared to drive in New Plymouth!) This zoo was unreal. One of the biggest snakes I have ever seen lives theres. Vomit. A crocodile named Evils who eats chickens – bones, feet & all. Kangaroos who don’t care if you are right in their faces & Koalas who have chlamydia. A few Tazzy devils (literally devils, I hate them). Some turtles and couple other little bits and bobs. Such a fun, cool day. It was so nice to get out of the house and not think about anything but having a good time.Such a beautiful experience.

Wednesday. I was suppose to have a personal training session with my hosts mums personal trainer – but alas, things didn’t go my way. Woke up and found that I may have been bitten on my lady bit and I was in some serious pain so i just sat that one out.. Ouch. Drove into Sydney and did a few laps around the same block maybe 5 times. Pretty busy day for this little chicken. Lady bits are healing, thankfully.

Wednesday was also a very special day for me, personally. Wednesday was the first time since landing in Sydney that I was shown a sign by the universe that I am exactly where I’m meant to be. In a mall, I  heard one of mums funeral songs “who knew” by Pink. This is huge for me, it’s something I’ve been waiting for & it was something I truly needed to hear. I smiled to myself and just took a deep breath… Things will be okay because I have my mum with me where ever I go.x

And today we have, Thursday. One week today since my life completely changed. It feels like I have been on a roller coaster that just keeps making me feel sick – both from being so unbelievably nervous but also excited from all the possibilities & opportunities that await me. In one week I’ve found out so much about myself. What I want & don’t want. Where I want to go. Who I want to be. I’m not settled here yet, not really even close but I know that day will come – I just need patience.

This week marks the first time in a long time (or ever) that I’ve literally been COMPLETELY alone. And moving in with people I’ve never met – no wonder I’m such a mess.

I’ve been brave, put on a smile and I’m still faking it until I make it.

& I will make it one day. 🤘🏼

Until then I’ll keep on my little Britney smile & live MY life. I miss all my people back home so much but this isn’t forever. I can’t wait to see you all again sometime soon 😌❤️

Here’s to many more weeks left in my little Sydney life 🙌🏼

Hoping I’ll feel a lot better this time next week!

Britney rose x


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