“You are the page, the link, the poem”
I’ve been in my own little world for a solid 3 weeks now. It’s gone sooo slow & so fast at the same time. Comparing all I’ve done here in 3 weeks compared to what I would have done at home is crazy.
I’m SO glad I found some balls and left my miserable life at home. 18 years old & leaving everything you’ve ever known, all by yourself sounds scary. It’s actually fucking terrifying. It’s hard to leave until you do leave – then it’s the easiest thing in the world.
I’ve talked to my family more than I ever did when I lived back home & I absolutely love it. It’s crazy to me how moving away, brought everyone together a little bit more. Me & my sister would always bicker and fight at home – always have and we probably always will. But now that there’s a pretty big puddle between us, we get on so much better. We talk all the time, FaceTime so much and we even have a streak on snapchat 😳… That would never happen if I was still living at home.
Family is so important I reckon. Moving over here makes me think of mum so much more. What would she have said? Would I even be here if she was still here? Can she see me? Ahhhhh so many questions I’ll probably never have answers to. It’s such a bitter sweet feeling. I’m so happy and so sad all at once.
But I truly think that this opportunity was way way to perfect not to be created by her. Everything fits way too perfectly – a Range Rover, a pug, right by the beaches, sunny weather, gorgeous people, a loving & caring family who are so imperfectly perfect for me. I honestly feel like I’m dreaming and I truly didn’t realise how happy I am here until last night when I had the worst dream ever.
I dreamt that I was flying here & when I got to my gate to board the plane to Syd, they switched me to a new family who lived in Canada. Wtf?! I woke up sweaty and stressed but I felt better when I saw i was still in my room in Aussie. Hahaha so stupid but it really made me think about how happy I am here.
I have some shit days and kids can be so hard to handle. They’re so unpredictable and get upset over the dumbest stuff but that’s the beauty of it. I get paid to take care of these kids and clean up after them. I literally walk down stairs to work, pay absolutely nothing except petrol if I go visiting people or for food if I want to go out for lunch – that’s truly all. I get to go to the coolest gym, have my own bathroom, big beautiful room with so much closest space that I die.
There’s a few negatives but the positives really do outweigh the shit times.
I’m so lucky here. I’m so lucky not only having this opportunity but I’m so lucky to have the family that I do. & moving to another country honestly shows how loved I am by all of them. Ahhhhhhh!
Next week marks a month since i jumped the ditch. That only leave 5 more months with this contract.. Crazyness?!
I’m settled & at home here. I’m just missing my family 💔❤️ but I truly haven’t felt this safe & free all at once ever before. I’m more me than I’ve ever been and it’s such a beautiful feeling.
If you ever feel like your “leaps of faith” are too great – they aren’t. This will turn out to be your leap of greatness, I promise you. And the only leap that isn’t great or doesn’t pay off, is the one that you were too scared to take.
Here comes the sun 🌥⛅️🌤☀️
Britney rose x