Shit it has been a hot minute since I’ve posted anything but honestly I feel like the last few posts have started with the exact same sentence. I’ve been so crazy busy trying to balance work life, gym life, stressing over money, making time for friends and making time for myself too. I feel like I don’t have much going on but at the same time I hardly have a second to catch my breath. 9 weeks left until I leave for Europe. Thats 9 weeks left of pay. 9 weeks left in my own bed. 9 weeks of living out of an actual house and 9 weeks left of guaranteed, 3 meals a day. 9 weeks isn’t that long in the scope of things and I’m honestly shitting myself. I’m so excited to be somewhere new and meet so many new people but I’ve finally found my stride here. I could do my job with my eyes closed and I’ve become use to my environment… my people. my places. I’m worried about money – the usual. I’m worried that theres going to be a fucking terrorist attack while I’m over there. I’m scared that I’ll never ever see Hawera and my family again. Being in Aus I’m really only a hop, skip and a jump away from home. 3 hours and I’m back in sheep shagging territory. But Europe is miles and miles out of my comfort zone. I was so ballsey booking this shit and now that I’ve had so much time to think about what I’m actually about to throw myself into is fucking with me. Booking my flight to Syd, I had only days until my fly out date. It all happened out of nowhere so I didn’t really have time to talk myself out of it… It wasn’t until I was actually on the plane that I started to freak but I thought to myself “Well its a little too late to back out now, Brits.” and I just got on with it. Europe will be good for me. If it wasn’t meant to go like this, then I’m sure the universe would have stopped me one way or another. What is meant to be, will always find a way. I think I’ll alway be a worry wart until the day I die, not necessarily a bad thing – just a tricky one to balance.
Anyways better update you stalkers on what I’ve been up to.
Right now I’m sitting in a cafe in Westfield and if you’re reading this then the wifi didn’t fail me and somehow this blog is posted. I ordered a coffee & this gross breakfast thing with eggs, avo and halloumi. I basically just got it for the halloumi because I fucking love this shit but I 100% regret my decision. Gross.
At the same time that I’m hating my food, I’m working on my University application for Auckland. I’ve been offered a place for next year doing a Bachelor of Primary School Teaching and thought i might as well keep my options open. I have no idea what Europe has in store for me but if all else fails, I can settle down for 3 years and make something of myself. But I have to somehow attend an interview at the Auckland campus sometime soon to secure my spot for next year, which is going to be rather difficult half way around the world. Good one Brits.
I’ve been drinking so much water lately and I was so worried about drowning myself that i actually googled if you could die from drinking too much water – and you can. Wow. What a way to put my mind at ease hey! The gym has been my second home since I came back from NZ and its a really good release for me. Instead of crying and being a sook, I just got and kick the shit out of a punching bag. It’s pretty violent but better than having salty tears. With so much gyming, I’ve actually been sleeping so much better which makes my days even better. I feel like the more energy I use up during the day, the better sleep I have and the more well rested I am. Pretty fucked but I’m actually loving it.
I went to Melbourne for the second time a few weeks ago and we drove instead of flying there. I drove basically the whole way there and back which was actually so much fun. The longest drive by far I’ve ever done in my life! 10 hours there and 10 hours home again. But to be fair I didn’t really have to do much, just drove straight for 800km and set it to auto drive. Simple. I found some cool little beach shacks somewhere in Melbs so I made renee take photos of me in front of them. I love it.
We saw the socceroos vs brazil game but I was solidly just cheering “Go New Zealand!” A few dumbasses had the audacity to say “the kiwis aren’t playing” and obviously I’m not stupid but I was making a point that I wasn’t supporting anything or anyone else except my sheep shaggers. All Black Everything. ALWAYS, my friends.
Speaking of my beautiful all blacks, they’re playing in sydney just before I scoot off to Europe. And I’ll be attending the game with all the merch I can possibly find and fit on my body plus my face painted black and white. I love being a kiwi.
My new favourite food is weatbix but they have to be crunched up & cold. The way i had them when I was just a wee bee. I love spinach so much too like its almost unhealthy how much spinach I’ve been eating. While I’m on health topics, this is probably a bit TMI but fuck it – anyways I changed birth control pills when I went back home, from AVA 20 to AVA 30. Simply because I had been on AVA 20 too long and my body wasn’t really working well with it anymore, breakthrough bleeding and all that fun stuff. Soooo I changed. I’ve felt crap ever since I came back to Aus. Just thought it was homesickness, but got over that fast. Then thought I was just tired, slept heaps but still felt shit. Then thought I was dehydrated, so I practically drowned myself with water which didn’t solve my problems. Then I went to trusty google and looked up symptoms of AVA 30 and I have basically fucking all of them! OF COURSE. Now that I’m ages away from my doctor, I can’t simply change to another pill because that would just be way too simple and too easy, and we don’t do that in Britneys world. So I’ve self diagnosed myself, thanks to google and I’m taking myself off it for a few weeks to see if that makes a difference or if we have bigger issues. To be fair, I have been on the pill for years & years and I probably do need a break before I completely kill all my little baby eggs and I end up not being able to have kids one day.. It’s all about options. Poppa has always told me not to burn my bridges so I’m taking this situation like a bridge. I’m practically a doctor anyways right? But basically the point of this ‘too much information’ topic is to to remind you all to listen to your bodies. Because mine is hating me right now and I can’t carry on doing this if it isn’t working, ya know? A little detox before Europe will probably do me good. Mentally and physically.
I found this old photo of me and ash the other day. The pink hair and brace face days. This photo was taken a few months after mum died. Its amazing how much can be hidden behind a smile. I was so broken here. I’m still so broken now but back then was a whole different story. Its amazing how quick time seems to go too. Where have the years gone?
Anywayyyys I think thats all the updates I have.. jus the same old, same old for the time being. High on life & planning my next runaway.