Holy shit I thought I was shit at commitment but this blog thing is on a whole other level. Missed me? Well I’ve got a second to actually sit down and write something, for once. So here we gooooooooooooooo.
6 weeks left until I fly out to London. Holy fuck. What the hell am I doing? This is going to sound so gay and stupid but I’ve been watching so many YouTube videos about “Contiki Must Haves” or “Do’s & Dont’s of Europe”. What a loser right? I just like to be fully prepared because if I can handle the worst then I can handle the rest. I’m absolutely shitting my pants hey & I’ve truly not saved my money as well as I should have been saving it. I’ve decided I’ll probably get stuck in some shitty little part of the globe with absolutely nothing but my house on wheels & my cringey quotes. Hope the sunsets pretty because that’s all my broke ass will be affording.
It’s been school holidays for the past two weeks and my nuggets have been tiring me outtttt.
We had a few extra kids stay with us too so yesterday I decided to be the cool nanny and take them to the skate park.
*it was in that moment that britney knew she had fucked up*.
If I can give you one little piece of advice in life, that you’ll hold onto forever and always consider if you are ever in my position.
(and I repeat, please fucking don’t.)
GO TO SKATEPARK IN SCHOOL HOLIDAYS.
Jesus Christ it was like a battle zone. I had my two little guys, a girl & a 4 year old boy. What’s fun about a 4 year old? Nothing. Because you have to constantly watch them and make sure they don’t die. No fun. It was just a stressful situation and I didn’t want a bar of it. No thank youuuu.
My anklet broke this week too. Along with my heart 😫 I know to some it seems stupid to be so sad over something as small as that but holy fuck that had so much meaning. Not going to lie but, kinda glad it did finally break because it was getting so gross & i’m certain that’s why I haven’t been getting many guys. Right?
Speaking of guys. I hate myself.
Long story but this is just an example of the fuckwit i am.
I went out last week, “just” to the AFL & to watch the mighty men in black. AFL sucks ass and to get through it I was chugging back wine. Made up a drinking game actually – drink every time you don’t understand what’s going on in a game of AFL… I was pretty blind before half time honestly.
Had a few more bevs watching my boys & then we decided, let’s fucking get a bottle of wine on the way into the city before we go out. So we did. Then, we got into the city & wanted more. So shanelle went and go TWO more fucking bottles, we found and alley way and skulked those bad boys back. Now this is where my memory goes a bit funny – not sure why because I’m a responsible drinker. 🙄😩 (sorry parents) but I remember meeting these guys that walked through the alley way, one had a tattoo of his dog & he was telling me his life story. Tried to get me to do lines of coke with him and his brother but I kindly refused and went on my merry way. Brits next plan of attack was to get into scary carny. Nope. Didn’t. The bouncer let all my friends in but not little bees. Nope. Not even when I asked nicely and said please. I even went away for an hour, came back and still nope. Too drunk apparently but I don’t believe that at all.
I’ve decided I get way too drunk & make stupid decisions. Like calling people I shouldn’t call. Multiple times. Over and over. Like can someone please just take my phone away because holy fuck me dead I am the worst. Basically long story short I got way too drunk and thought that would be the perfect time to rekindle old flames. Not to sure why that plan didn’t work but boy did I give it a good shot. Legit over 20 times. Sorry 🤷
I don’t know what I hate more, Aussies or boys. Or Aussie boys. All 3 piss me right off. I don’t understand them hey. One minute it’s all on, then the next, nope see ya later. Catch ya never. So there you are- or in my case, there I am. Onto the next and as soon as it’s smooth sailing & things are looking up… Boom. They text. Or call. Or both. Fuck my life.
If I have another solid piece of advice for anyone who’s actually reading this,
Please do not get it on with anyone that goes to your gym. I met this guy, known his face for ages because I’ve always seen him around the gym but finally got talking and whatever, and honestly I wish I’d never even sparked up a conversation because the gym use to be my little safe zone – no one knew me. It was just me in my own little world. But noooope,
Now, I get followed around like a lost puppy and I’m not happy about it. I didn’t want any of this extra stuff ya know. Uuughhhhhh good one Brits you legend.
I’ve met legit 4 soul mates in the last 2 weeks and probably like 14 in the last 9 months. I’m such a dick hey. Falling in love too fast, too quick, too easy. I know probably all of them is more of a lust than a love, right. But it’s pretty fucking cool to meet so many different people and connect with every single one, differently. My Aunty called me the other day and gave me the 20 questions on if I’m seeing anyone. Brits reply?
Nah, i’m just seeing everyone. 😂
Why have just one? That’s no fun.
Works been work. Same old.
Still loving cold weatbixs. Found a little lump in my boob and not gonna lie I’m slightly shitting myself so off the the docs I shall go.
I’ve google it (of course she has, they say) and I’ve got at least 48 hours to live. Great news. Good stuff. 🤔😴
Next week marks 10 months since I jumped & my heart is so content with where I am right now. I’ll never actually be able to comprehend that I got myself where I am today, all on my very own. I miss my family so much but it’s gotten easier with time. I know I’d much prefer being a little homesick from time to time than living back in the place that made me want to not be around anymore. There’s so much more out there & it’s not until you get out from under your rock and actually experience life.
Speaking of, a few people from back home have messaged me lately and they’re doing what I’m doing. Jumping on a plane & becoming a nanny for while. I love it. I love that. I love it because I went against the small town grain and everyone thought the little sooky Brits wouldn’t last – now they’re taking a leaf out of my book and coping the FreeBee way.
I don’t have everything all sorted, I have no job lined up after Europe. I’m completely winging every single thing in my life. I actually don’t even know where I’ll live once I come back, if I’ll go back to New Zealand, stay in Sydney or go somewhere else around Aussie. Who knows? But freedom is what you do, with what’s been done to you… and I’m going to fly so high I’ll be untouchable.